Motherhood is powerful. It can also be all-consuming, especially if you were a stay-at-home parent. While you’ll never stop being a mother, losing that active caregiver role can come with an identity crisis. Who are you if not their caregiver, their mentor, their parent, teacher, and friend?
This is all completely normal, and millions of women just like you experience the same thing after the kids leave the nest. So if you feel like you don’t know who you are without your kids around, it’s time to follow these steps to reconnect with your true self and reclaim your individual identity:
Start with a Mindful Schedule
One of the easiest ways to begin the process of discovering and reconnecting with your true self is to establish a mindfulness schedule. This schedule needs to be packed full with activities and moments for you to reflect on how you feel and build a stronger connection with your body, your community, and the world around you.
You can follow guru enlightenment protocols and schedules if you need a good place to start, or you can simply engage in the mindful activities that work best for you. Regardless of what you choose, however, aim to include:
- A way to express yourself creatively (painting, drawing, sculpting)
- A way to connect mindfully with your body (yoga, breathwork, meditation)
- A way to connect with nature (walks, soundbaths, gardening)
- A way to connect with your community (volunteering, seeing friends)
Go Deeper to Discover Your Inner Self
If you feel truly lost, then it’s important to go deeper. Mindfulness, meditation, and the mind-body connection offer a powerful avenue to discover your true self. While it’s possible to achieve this sense of deep connection on your own, it’s almost always better to be guided through the process with a yogi, shaman, or guide. You may want to achieve true enlightenment and discover your true self, for example. In this case, you’ll want to begin with the enlightenment protocol and then move on to the Kundalini experience before progressing towards enlightenment.
Be Curious
You can learn a lot by simply slowing down and looking inward, but at the end of the day, your ability to understand yourself is going to be limited by what you know of the world. That’s why it’s so important to nurture your curiosity. Try new skills, read more books, meet new people, and go to new places. You can combine all three by going on a retreat, for example, or take it at your own pace.
Create, Endlessly
Now is the time to create, however that means for you. Most importantly, allow yourself the opportunity to create badly. A drawing does not need to be a masterpiece. It doesn’t have to be anything at all. It just has to be an avenue for you to express yourself and engage with that inner child and inner artist.
Reflect Again and Again
Finally, remember to self-reflect. You can do this best through journaling. Rather than write down what happened in your day, however, it’s crucial that you explain your own thoughts and feelings to yourself, and then address those thoughts and feelings based on your own goals and intentions. If you were frustrated with yourself because your body isn’t yet strong enough or flexible enough to do yoga, express those emotions in the journal, and then address them. Explain why those frustrations are not limitations, that you are on a journey, and you will achieve your goals.
Addressing the emotions, thoughts, and even actions you took in the day, either positively (you want to experience more of them) or constructively (you don’t want to think, act, or feel those ways), is imperative for personal growth.
What to Remember
Reconnecting with your true self is about finding your way back to who you are, and guiding yourself to who you want to be. Being mindful, creative, and connected is how you can discover who you want to be, so start today.
