In the moments after an assault, your world can feel fractured and disorienting. You may be in shock, experiencing a flood of conflicting emotions, or feeling completely numb. Please know that whatever you are feeling is valid. This guide is here for you, not as a list of rules, but as a calm, quiet resource to help you take one small step at a time. Its purpose is to provide clear, simple information to help you regain a sense of control and make the choices that feel right for you, on your timeline. You have the strength to navigate this, and you do not have to do it alone.
Step 1: Prioritizing Your Immediate Safety and Well-being
Before anything else, your safety and well-being are the absolute priority. In these first few hours, the most important actions you can take are those that protect your physical and emotional health. Your feelings of uncertainty are completely normal and shared by many; only about 310 out of every 1,000 sexual assaults are ever reported to police, underscoring how common it is to feel unsure about what to do next. Remember to be gentle with yourself as you consider your next steps. The journey of healing begins with ensuring you are secure right now, which is a powerful step in reclaiming your agency.
Find a Safe Space
Your first objective is to reach a point where you feel physically and emotionally secure. This could be the home of a trusted friend or family member, a hospital emergency room, or any location where you feel protected from harm. There is no right or wrong answer here; the only thing that matters is what feels safest to you. Removing yourself from the location of the assault or any place that feels threatening is the most crucial first step you can take. This action creates the necessary space for you to breathe, process, and decide what you want to do next without immediate pressure or danger.
Address Your Physical Needs
Gently consider seeking medical attention, even if you don’t believe you have visible injuries. A doctor or healthcare provider can check for internal injuries, discuss options for preventing sexually transmitted infections (STIs), and provide emergency contraception if that is a concern for you. Making this choice is a profound act of self-care that honors your body’s needs. The reality is that an overwhelming number of women have faced similar situations; a 2018 study found that 81% of women reported experiencing some form of sexual harassment or assault in their lifetime. Seeking medical care is a way to tend to your health and well-being, independent of any decision about reporting the assault.
Step 2: Understanding Medical Options and Evidence Preservation
In the hours following an assault, you have specific medical options available that can also preserve potential evidence, should you decide you need it later. This process is entirely within your control and is designed to support your health while keeping your future choices open. Understanding these options can help demystify the process and empower you to decide what is best for your situation.
The Role of a SANE Nurse
Many hospitals have Sexual Assault Nurse Examiners (SANE), who are registered nurses with specialized training to provide comprehensive, trauma-informed care to survivors. A SANE nurse can conduct a Sexual Assault Forensic Exam (SAFE), sometimes called a rape kit, to collect any potential DNA evidence. It is incredibly important to know that you can have a SAFE exam done without being required to file a police report. The evidence collected can be stored, often for years, giving you time to decide if you want to involve law enforcement later. The primary focus of the SANE nurse is your medical care and comfort.
Key Steps for Preserving Evidence
If you are considering a SAFE exam, there are a few steps you can take to help preserve potential evidence. Please do not worry if you have already done some of these things; medical care is always the priority. This is simply a guide with suggestions, not a list of requirements.
- If possible, avoid showering, bathing, or douching before a medical exam.
- Try not to change clothes, but if you do, place the clothes you were wearing in a paper bag (not plastic).
- Avoid eating, drinking, or brushing your teeth if oral contact occurred.
- Try not to disturb anything in the area where the assault happened (like cleaning or moving items).
Making an Informed Choice
Understanding the difference between seeking medical care and starting a legal process is key to feeling in control. The choice is always yours, and you can take these steps separately and on your own schedule. The table below outlines the distinct purposes and control you have over each action.
| Action | Purpose & Focus | Survivor’s Control | Next Steps |
| SANE/SAFE Exam | Medical care, injury treatment, and confidential evidence collection. The focus is on your health. | You decide if and when to release the kit to law enforcement. | Evidence can be held for a set period, giving you time to decide. |
| Filing a Police Report | To initiate a formal criminal investigation. The focus is on the legal process. | The investigation is led by law enforcement, though your participation is key. | A detective will be assigned to your case to begin an investigation. |
Step 3: Seeking Support and Understanding Your Rights
As you navigate the immediate aftermath, connecting with support systems can provide emotional grounding and vital information. You do not have to carry this burden alone. There are confidential, free resources available 24/7 that are dedicated to supporting survivors. These services are designed to meet you where you are, offering a listening ear, practical advice, and a connection to local resources without any pressure or judgment.
You Are Not Alone: Finding Confidential Support
One of the most valuable resources is the National Sexual Assault Hotline, operated by RAINN (800-656-HOPE). You can call or chat online with trained staff who can provide confidential support, help you find local resources like counselors and advocates, and answer questions you may have about medical and legal options. An advocate’s role is to support you, not to make decisions for you. They can accompany you to the hospital or police station if you choose, helping you understand the process and ensuring your voice is heard.
Exploring Your Legal Pathways to Justice
Justice can mean different things to different people, and it is not limited to a single path. Fortunately, there is a growing recognition of survivor needs, leading to the expansion of support services and legal resources. Initiatives across the country, like those in New York expanding civil rights education for survivors and the UK’s NHS creating specialist support hubs, show a positive trend toward more comprehensive, trauma-informed care. Understanding your rights is an empowering step, allowing you to consider what justice and accountability look like for you.
Understanding your long-term options can be a crucial part of your healing journey. Generally, there are two main legal paths you can consider: criminal prosecution and civil action. The criminal justice system is designed for the state to charge and punish the offender, a process that can lead to outcomes like jail time. However, it’s a difficult path with a high burden of proof. A systematic review of over 288,000 cases found that, on average, only 8.28% result in a conviction. This reality makes understanding your other options even more important.
The second path is a civil lawsuit, where you can seek financial compensation from the perpetrator for the harm you have endured. This can cover costs for therapy, medical bills, lost wages, and emotional distress. Unlike a criminal case, a civil case is controlled by you and your attorney and has a lower standard of proof.
However, it is important to remember that legal battles are two-sided. Just as you fight for recovery, the other party will fight to clear their name. Understanding this dynamic is key. For anyone involved in these cases, learning how to get legal help after a sexual assault —whether to pursue a claim or defend against one—is the defining factor in the case’s outcome.
Firms that specialize in trauma-informed legal care, such as Nix Law in Salt Lake City, recognize that survivors need more than just legal representation; they need an advocate who understands the emotional and psychological impact of assault. These professionals are equipped to navigate complex legal systems with compassion, ensuring your voice is heard and your needs are prioritized. They can explain your rights in both criminal and civil contexts and help you decide what path is best for you, on your own timeline.
Your Path Forward, One Step at a Time
There is no instruction manual for healing, and there is no correct way to feel or act after an assault. The journey forward is yours alone, and you have the right to take it at your own pace. The core message of this guide is to put your safety and well-being first, to know that you have choices, and to remember that you have the right to make those choices on your own timeline. You are resilient, and you are not alone. Support is available, and with each small step, you are moving toward a place of healing and strength.
The information provided in this article is for informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
